I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
