if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
