Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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