You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
