dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
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