Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
