i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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