how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
