at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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