There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
worst night to have a conscience
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
