If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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