We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
