If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
