So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
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