You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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