My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
