Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
