Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
