..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
