Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
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