I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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