we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
