I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
