I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
