is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
