I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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