It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
