just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
