1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
