IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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