I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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