"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
