Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
