White coat. Heels.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
