btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Woke up backwards on a recliner
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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