You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
