god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
