fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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