dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
