YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She bit a glass in half.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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