One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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