It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i came on her dog
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
