the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
