My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
