New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
