do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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