brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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