I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
