when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
