with your own penis?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
