people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
